nyc_bjork's Journal

2:01am:  it's been a very long time since i last post.
i'm still here. for a while 

7:34pm: Emotions, where is the manual?
Does anyone own a copy on how to use emotions?
lol

8:04pm: The Generous World
To finally let go.

That's one skill I have learned about life. Letting go is like dying, accepting that life ends in death. That might sound very depressing but really, people live happier lives or at least search for a deeper meaning in life when life situations arise.
I have to finally let go of my self-identification and create my present.

j

1:19am: wow!
today was a good day, we had a preview for "out". it was a nice show, one of the best i've seen. there were areas that needed some polishing but that's nothing. they needed an audience to work those parts and i felt they worked them extremely well. we had a talk back tonight, it went rather well. not too many people showed, so it was a good intimate talk back everyone had a chance to speak. The question was asked, "who inspired your character?" everyone went down the line and when Caleb spoke, he said that his was based off of me, my physical self. That was SOO SOO surprizing. I didn't think I influenced him at all. I thought i was dreaming that moment but everyone was laughing and saying yeh, who knew or something like that. It was so awesome! I didn't think i would have an influence at that scale. I don't know if anyone knew about that inspiration. i suppose he felt it was time to reveal it. it was so awesome! i felt so proud that i helped someone out at that level.

11:54pm: lost
now i truely understand what being lost is all about. on a weird morning.. i awoke to find myself lost. i didn't understand who i am... i didn't know what to do... i felt so scared.

i usually ask myself questions abbout what i believe etc, like human rights, my sexual orientation, my family, etc. and i usually have the same responses just to be sure i'm alive.. but that morning i found myself responding totally differently. i found myself not respecting life, not respecting myself, not caring about the world... for a moment there i didn't care if i went to work or didn't care if i had friends wanting to hang out... i wasn't depressed, i wasn't happy, i had no emotion running through my viens, i felt that i wasn't alive, things around me were different, i had a different feel for them... and for the next two days i felt that way... then i called my friend Robert up and he calmed me down, he told me that something in my life wasn't allowing me to answer my questions with a level head, and i thought about what he said and immediately knew what was going on in my life. lots of emotions poured out, my questions were answered, i felt that i was starting to see myself again. that next morning i was awaken by my soul and it told me it was sorry about getting lost and wandering about... it returned, then i was just starting to realize how important it is to know yourself and know where you came from and why you believe what you believe.... it was very scary i wasn't sure if i was ever going to return. i mean this change just happened over night... but my buddy Robert told me that something in my life wasn't allowing me to be who i am. something that i believed in just suddenly left because i wasn't practicing my beliefs. so, i found what was wrong and i'm making a full recovery.
a word of advise don't lose your identity, because that's the only thing left when there is nothing left to hold on to.

2:57am: it's true! He does say I love you Lips! WAHLA!

Your Love Situation by Amberishjewel
Username?
Your Love Is...	Seductive
During Lovemaking You Act...	Like a child, always playing
Your Partner Is...	Your soulmate
Your Partner Has Said That You...	Are their best friend
Your Love is Summed Up In A Quote.	"I love your lips"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

2:47am: i did it
i did it, with the clippers, all my hair on my head is GONE!
hmmm... Alex is going to be so pissed at me for doing but hey, i only live once and only get to live my college years once.

11:27am: yep
yep, sa sucks

7:22pm: birthdays
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS WEBB!!!
We can finally drink without much worry now. And I think we can do some other stuff too, i don't know what though, could you fill me in?

10:23pm: dishwashing
i had my first automatic dishwashing experience... there is a dishwasher in my apartment, never used, decided to last night... bought the stuff... loaded the machine, added what i needed to added turned it on, and went to bed, woke up opened the door to the machine and looked at my clean dishes! WOW! i love this machine!!!!

7:27pm: snappers
i snapped my apartment key in a fourth!

1:27am: eh
well, i want to meet cool people i would be interested in... hmmm... seems as though nobody wants to live. seems as though people want to be the same.

11:38pm: Things are running much better now that "the Nerd" is over for me. But school is striking back me for not being to attentive with my work. Oh well, i'll catch up in no time, i'm sure of it... My boyfriend and I are doing great! It was a long month with this show but it's all over now, don't have to worry about it anymore... it's not my problem anymore, done done done done done! Went to a badass Radiohead concert.... yeh it was was badass, two hours of pure radiohead, has goosebumps the entire concert! I wanted more of course but oh well... went with robert, his sister and eric, it was nice, nice to see them... so anywho, i hope everyone is having a great time with their experiences, if not then i wish the best of luck.

1:24am:
Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is
concerned that it may not get a second term.
Therefore, we are going to change the rules so
that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2
votes because Democrat is a shorter word than
Republican


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
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12:29am:

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	nyc_bjork
Your haiku:	living the single life is cool i like it a lot i can't be with
Username:
Created by Grahame

12:28am:

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	nyc_bjork
Your haiku:	bit of alright i should say there might be some riots tonight so i did
Username:
Created by Grahame

2:14pm: hi
ok, i´m in mexico, it´s strange using this mexican keyboard i keep hitting this´ç when i´´m trying to hit enter. kind of strange using the internet in a different country... i´m having a good time here but i had a bit of a confused meet with my friend Adrian... apparently in this country there are some streets that are double... so two different streets have the same name! OMG!
jm

12:56am: FUCKERS!
i just wanna vent right now...
OK! so i did the ME job this past year and since school has ended i have yet to recieve one call from the fuckers back at school... They could have called me if they needed help on some of the shows... but NO! they didn't even ask me ... fuckers... fine fine fine whatever, i don't need them... i'll just ignore that fact... i'm just pissed that i have worked so hard for those fuckers that i would receive this kind of treatment. i admit i wasn't 100 percent great... but I was one of the best... PISSED!

4:01pm: Reflections in the plastic pulse
yep today came... morning sure did follow...
it's raining out today, it's nice, i like the rain, gives me a chance to look at something fall from the sky.
Things are good and bad, somehow I don't know how to feel about these events.
Ernesto is going back to Mexico pretty soon and I'm going back to Houston in weeks, so I'm happy I met him but I'm sad that I did. But oh well, at least he made my last week a fun one.
Lately, my world has been morphing into something I can't figure but it seems interesting. I can't wait till I'll see my friends in Houston again, going to be nice to hug them all. Robert and I are going to Monterrey this week for a couple of days to visit his family; a nice a little escape from san antonio.

11:51pm: change finally
so, i am laying down some new rules for me... I realized today that I'm an idiot. i need to make some changes. i need to start reading again, listen to some classical music.. i'll try that for a month and see what happens...
hopefully i'll get better?

3:13pm:
[you're] TELEGRAM; hmmm.....you're the toughest of
them all. You come without a list of songs on
the back and you have no lyrics. Nonetheless,
you're extremely g00d! Smashing beats, swinging
rap solo, art work by a Japanese guy and even a
former b-side. Congrats!


Which Bjork album are you?
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3:01pm:
Love Will Tear us Appart. You're fond of love, but
love turns you down. All your life you've been
suffering from love. But you're a dreamer, you
keep loving because it's your living.


Wich Joy Division Song Are You?
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3:00pm:
You are Morrissey! Hailed as a lyrical genius,
you've gone on to have a long and successful
solo career after the break-up of The Smiths.
You are mostly depressed. Cheer up, you're
brilliant!


Which Member Of The Smiths Are You?
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2:58pm:
Which solo Morrissey song are you?
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2:54pm:
Why do you come here
When you know it makes things hard for me ?
When you know, oh
Why do you come?


Which Morrissey song most represents you?
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strange i really really like that song anyways...